Self Defense: Junie Pleads His Case

Admittedly, I’ve learned more about this season of the Ultimate Fighter from reading the delusional musings of Junie Browning on his blog. He posts after every episode, as the UFC mandates, and so it’s been interesting to hear his defenses of his stupidity. Of course, with the airing of the final episodes, he decided that it would be a good time to defend himself, and he came off like a retarded Clarence Darrow impersonator.

My thoughts on Junie and the season of the show are up already, and worth checking out, in my opinion.

Posted are some of his statements and my reaction, in interview format, for your pleasure.

On the eventual decision to fight:

I knew I was gonna lose even before I stepped into the cage. I don’t want to try to justify why I lost, and I wanted to win, but I knew I was going to lose. You can’t go into a fight unprepared.

Yeah, you’re right. So why were you unprepared?

While Team Nogueira’s getting off on watching workout videos, I’m begging people to roll with me. The only person that would roll with me was Shane. The rest of them would sit around. They’d say, ‘oh, we’ll work out with you,” and that may be their idea of working out when you’re fighting in some small amateur shows, but when you’re fighting on The Ultimate Fighter, you should be training pretty hard, and I felt like none of them were trying to give me any help. And they would use the excuse that I had an anger problem, but I never got mad at the guys that actually helped me train.

I wonder why. But wait a minute, didn’t you cut Shane with a glass? And he still rolled with you? (so much for never getting angry at the guys that trained with you)

There was actually a whole lot more to that incident. It was a whole night of talking about different matchups and stuff like that, and it wasn’t arguing, but more like debating about sports. I wasn’t mad at him and he wasn’t mad at me. But then Shane was the first one to get upset and he told me that he hoped I’d get beat, and he got personal. So then I snapped on him.

Well, Shane was on the other team. It makes sense that he would want you to lose, but I guess that might be upsetting. Any regrets about that last spasm?

Part of me thought that I was gone off the show this time, but another part figured that they’d keep me to see if I’d get beat. Half of the people in America would want to see me win, and half would want to see me get my ass kicked, so I figured they’d keep me for that reason.

Well, I don’t think that you had half of the people in America, though I think they were split on the issue. Realistically, I think half wanted them to kick you off and the other half wanted them to see you get your ass kicked. By the way, how was that ass whupping?

I was so dead. Yes, I heard Frank Mir yelling ‘three’ through the fight. But the thing about conditioning is, it doesn’t mean you’re not listening to a person, but sometimes your body won’t allow you to do it. In my mind, I was like ‘okay, I’m gonna throw three punches,’ and then I was like ‘#$%^, I’m too tired, I can’t throw three punches.’ You can’t tell because I tried to put my game face on, but I was so tired during the fight. In the back, when we were warming up, I had to quit warming up because I was getting tired.

Well, that’s disappointing. But, of course, this was all because Team Nogueira didn’t want to train with you because they thought you were a dick, and not because you were slacking off in the gym, or because you didn’t condition yourself. That’s good to know. How about the future? Where are you going to find people who want to train with you?

On December 13th, people are gonna see how fast I’ve improved. I told people from Day One that I’m not necessarily the best fighter, but I’m the fastest at improving, I’m the most athletic and I have the potential to be the best. Nothing about the way I fought on the show will look the same. Techincally, athletically, and cardio-wise, everything will be improved completely. I’m training out here at Xtreme Couture with the best people and I feel like I’m way ahead of anybody on the show, even Efrain, the guy I got beat by. I feel that if I fought him again right now, it wouldn’t even be close. I’m all ears when I listen to people in the gym and I’ll be a lot better everywhere. I promise, everyone will be impressed, and in this fight I’m gonna show people stuff they’ve never seen.

Well, you’ve certainly showed us some stuff we’ve never seen on the Ultimate Fighter, so I hope when you say that you’re going to show us “stuff that we’ve never seen” you mean you’re going to show us “stuff that we’ve never seen from you.”

I hope that the training for the “Unbreakable” Dave Kaplan goes well and that your new roommates make sure to wear their glass-resistant wrist guards when talking about potential matchups.

Hopefully after December 13th we can wash our hands of Junie Browning, but until then, I’m going to keep trying to deal with the sour taste that this idiot left in my mouth.