Comment Army of One

Site creator and manager Brandt DeLorenzo often sheepishly encourages me to write more on mixed martial arts. He does this after I rant for ten minutes on several different topics at lightspeed during the limited time that we get to talk about MMA. I always shrug him off, not because I don’t like him, but because I’ve just told him what I think, and although you’ve never heard (nor care) about those conversations, I feel validated by just having them. Two problems; First, they don’t help Mr. DeLorenzo with issues of lack of content. Second, they aren’t conversations. He says something; I cut him off and chop him down, and move on to something else. The second part isn’t relevant, unless you’re my therapist.

So here now, before you, is content for the visitors of MMAopinion.com. Except, it’s also content for Sam Caplan’s wonderful Five Ounce’s of Pain site. See, most of the major MMA media sources these days have shot up on blogs. So the interaction of the community is actually really strong. We all have a voice. It reminds me of the mid -90s, when news boards cropped up and message boards helped fans have a voice about the minutest details of pro wrestling. Essentially, people stole Dave Meltzer’s news as their own and talked about how they hated everything. I’m sure that won’t happen now that we have this great new blog technology.

So my column for this day is to peruse Caplan’s site, and comment on all the top stories at the moment.

You can actually go to Sam’s site and read the same stuff there, but you wouldn’t get the witty lead in, and it would take a few more clicks. Maybe we should get on with this drive-by commentary for the week:

Kimbo Slice to be profiled on ESPN’s E:60 show

“This isn’t something I’m excited about. I have no problem with the profile itself, but I do if it’s before ESPN profiles real MMA fighters, from UFC to Elite XC to IFL and Strikeforce. I just have a feeling they’ll represent Kimbo as your typical MMA fighter, and he’ll fulfill what sports writers in newspapers and what the ESPN or HBO top brass thinks MMA is all about: a streetfighter fad that isn’t really a sport.”

Frank Shamrock released from IFL; says he’ll fight Renzo in April

Not surprising, as he’s making the rounds as far as media. I’m heard him on every MMA audio show in the last two weeks. My guess is he’ll be fighting on Showtime regardless of the promotion, and I believe Strikeforce and Elite XC/Showtime have one more cross-promotional PPV to do as part of their settlement. Youâ’re the Elite XC guy, Sam. Why are you breaking Ben Rothwell/IFL news and not on this story?! Kidding aside, I don’t think Renzo Gracie (and really, the Gracie name) carries as much casual fan weight as it did, but I do think Shamrock still has some money in him if ShowTime can get him mainstream press. If his reality show makes any waves (I think it got picked up by a low level cable station), it would be time to put the money on the table for a Ken Shamrock brother vs. brother match in fall ‘08. What say you Mr. Caplan?

“Rampage melts the Iceman”

“This is the kind of artistic expression usually seen on Sports Illustrated covers that I’d like to see in MMA. Regardless of whether you’re an artistic person or not, these type of iconic odes are good for the sport because they show it’s branching out and effecting culture elsewhere. Now, getting something like this on the cover of Sports Illustrated more frequently with something other then an “MMA primer” story from a newbie sports journalist; that’s the real work of art!”

UFC still clinging to hopes of Lombard vs. Parisyan

“Hope the guy got an advance, for his sake. Perhaps a UFC oversight, but also could be a case of an overzealous hungry fighter misrepresenting himself in the hopes of getting the shot. I can see Dana White getting angry with having to switch the match, and regardless of whose fault it is, it’s a bummer for the fans. My main concern, not knowing Lombard’s work, is my need to see a Karo match. Throw him in there with Burkman again, I don’t care, I just want to see him fight. Poor Karo, I just hope he has a good deal with UFC. He’s not getting that title shot until we’ve got a new president in the U.S.”

Kurt Otto Confirms talks with Kurt Angle

“Stop it! That’s what I want to yell at Kurt Angle. As someone who grew to love MMA through pro wrestling, Angle is being a typical old school wrestler who enjoys the nonsense tactic of “working” the fans to get people talking. Except, this is the real world, and you’re lying. Angle likes to sit around with people like Bubba the Love Sponge and Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea and make up the most ridiculous statements because no one around them will disagree, and it’s ingrained in wrestlers that they are smarter then fans if they say anything and someone simply nods. They’re “marks”.

The problem is Angle is embarrassing himself. For those of you who don’t know or don’t care about Angle and pro wrestling, know that those of us who follow more then what’s just on TV cringe at him to. Crazy old Vince McMahon even had a moment of lucidity when he realized Angle was badly damaged goods and might die on his watch. So he fired him (Angle swears he quit his million dollar job) and so began the public descent. Angle has talked about MMA for almost two years now. He has never even began basic stand-up training with any major camp (unless the YMCA counts). He was an Olympic champion almost 12 years ago, which is several lifetimes in MMA, and has a badly damaged body. His marketability took a serious hit when WWE let him go, and just last week a “clean” Kurt Angle was arrested for DUI and found at his home by police with what they reported as pills in his mouth. Angle is a troubled man, and not someone who will be making an impact in an MMA promotion near you.

Finally, he’s a discredit to wrestling (yeah, I know, make your jokes) for his behavior over the last year. Many wrestlers know and understand you can’t wrestle at the same time you fight MMA. The tendencies of a worked match and a shoot are the opposite. Honestly, Dave Meltzer should punch Kurt Angle in his broken neck for making his life difficult. When Meltzer shows up to report on the big UFC in Vegas, he’s got to go down press row being bothered by snide sports reporters asking him about the wrestler who says he’ll kill Randy Couture because Couture wasn’t an Olympic Champion in 1996.”

Sorry I used you, Sam. Sorry about our Phillies even more. And sorry Adam Morgan, please don’t fire Brandt DeLorenzo from your site. He’s a father, and though you don’t pay him, he won’t be able to look his son in the eyes if you do.

E-mail John Philapavage at johnnyp@mmaopinion.com